Dear Drunken Bar Patron From Last Evening:

Um, when you approach a group of people who are clearly engrossed in conversation, the best way to break the ice and try to be included is not to ask “is anyone hungry?” and then say it is because you “ordered a lot of sushi” that you will offer to share with us, though it will be served on your (ample) naked body as you lie prone on the table.  That is, even if it were a joke, just weird.

And when you approach a second time to raise a glass in toast, and discover that many assembled are involved in the film profession, do not ask if anyone knows “Quentin.”  It is best to not also pitch your Pulp Fiction prequel, which revolves around the question “How did the gimp get in the box?”

Clearly seeking a companionship your pool game cannot provide, when approaching a third time, asking if anyone has thought about their Halloween costumes is innocuous enough, I suppose, but since it’s early August that line of thinking is not going to really lead anywhere.  Also offering that you are going to be Stewie Griffin, as if it were an inspired choice, will  not extend the thread of conversation further.

These are just some helpful tips the next time you feel chatty at the bar. I am sorry we could not find more common ground on which to converse.

Oh, also, you may want to ease up on the Jager shots, kay?

Until next time.